


The Hero Of Fódlan Has Two Hands

by ruff_ethereal



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - Post-Canon, Assumes A Golden Route Where Everybody Lives And Works Together, Byleth is both the source of the and the solution to their numerous spats, Byleth married both Edelgard and Rhea, Crack, Domestic, Multi, This whole fic is basically Edelgard and Rhea being bitchy and childish towards each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-30
Updated: 2019-09-30
Packaged: 2020-11-07 22:26:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20824802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ruff_ethereal/pseuds/ruff_ethereal
Summary: As is usual in the bedchamber of the Hero of Fódlan, her wives Edelgard and Rhea are fighting.





	The Hero Of Fódlan Has Two Hands

Edelgard wouldn’t have believed it possible, if she hadn’t witnessed it first hand:

A totally united and peaceful Fódlan, the abolition of the system of nobility and Crests, the complete eradication of Those Who Slither in the Dark, and even the end of the Church of Seiros. Even if three of the four were still works-in-progress, and it would take a decade or more for them to be unquestionable, unshakable fact, Edelgard was sure that their chances of success were great; that she and _all _of her former classmates would live to see this new, unprecedented, and wonderful world; and most importantly, that her beloved professor—now _wife_—would be right by her side to see it.

There was, however, one **massive **downside:

“Ah, Byleth, my love!” Rhea cried. “Welcome ba—_oh… _it’s _you.”_

Edelgard scowled as she closed the bedchamber door behind her. “Would it _kill _you to at least _try _to hide your animosity? We _are _supposed to be family now.”

“A single ceremony, no matter how grand and historic, will not instantaneously change how I feel about you,” Rhea huffed as she continued to lounge on the main bed.

“How ironic, coming from the former head of the Church that oversaw said ceremony,” Edelgard said as she headed over to the dresser.

“And how ironic of you, to speak of sanctity when you made it your life’s mission to end said Church.” Rhea shot back.

Edelgard whipped her head at Rhea, eyes fiery and mouth ready to fire another sharp retort, before she stopped, and sighed. “You know, what Rhea? I concede to you tonight, today has been a _long _day, and the morrow promises yet more still,” she said as she removed her crown and jewelry, before heading to the wooden dressing screen.

“A wise choice.” Rhea said, smiling. “If only you decided to make them more often….”

Edelgard stopped, gripping the edge of the screen so hard her fingers marred the finish, before she shook her head, let go, and proceeded to change into her nightgown. Rhea paid her no attention, until she noticed Edelgard about to climb in with her.

“What are you doing…?” Rhea asked, scowling. “Have you forgotten what day of the week it is? It’s my turn with the main bed _and _Byleth.”

“I’m declaring ‘emotional emergency’,” Edelgard mumbled as she crawled onto the sheets. “Now _move, _you’re hogging all of the bed!”

Rhea did not. “We _firmly _established in our contract that emotional emergencies are Byleth’s to judge and handle. Is she present? Because it certainly looks like she isn’t!”

“These sheets still smell like her,” Edelgard said as she wedged herself into what little space Rhea afforded her. “That’s enough of Byleth for me...”

Rhea scowled as she pushed herself up with one arm, and glared at Edelgard. _“__Get out. _I’m not in the mood for renegotiations and creative interpretations right now.”

Edelgard groaned as she climbed off the side. “Fine! Just let me take these sheets, and I’ll happily use the other bed,” she muttered as she grabbed onto them.

“_Excuse _me?!” Rhea snapped. “Do you really expect me to just sleep on bare mattress?”

“You can get the servants to bring you fresh sheets.” Edelgard grumbled as she started to tug at them. “Now get off so I can take these without ripping them.”

Rhea laid back down. “No. I’ll have you know that a spent a not-inconsiderable amount of time preparing these sheets, for my plans when Byleth finally retires.”

“Oh, like dousing sheets with your _awful _perfume is _really_ so arduous?” Edelgard snapped.

Both women’s eyes lit up in fire, tension filled the air, the bedsheets were at great risk of fraying and tearing apart… and then Byleth entered the room, calmly took in the scene before her, then asked, “Are you two fighting again?”

Rhea and Edelgard immediately stopped, looking surprised, then horrified, and finally delighted. Edelgard let go of the sheets, and Rhea quickly took on an “inviting” pose on the bed.

“No, no, not fighting at all!” Rhea started. “Just having a bit of a minor disagreement, but nothing that serious.”

“And onto more pressing matters: you look positively _exhausted_, Byleth,” Edelgard continued as she walked towards her. “You should really get some sleep as soon as possible! Come, I’ll help you undress, and even carry you to bed, if you’d like.”

“And I’ll be right here waiting to provide comfort, should you desire it.” Rhea finished, smiling.

Byleth nodded as Edelgard led her to their dressing screen. “I’d like all of the former, but, if you two don’t mind, I’d like the both of you in bed with me tonight. It’s been one of those days…”

“Oh, but of course, Byleth!” Edelgard said as she undressed Byleth with speed and grace. “Rhea won’t mind forfeiting her exclusive night, right?”

“It’ll be no trouble at all!” Rhea said, forcing a smile. “After all, Byleth, if it’s for you, I would do _anything,_” she continued with genuine emotion.

Byleth smiled as Edelgard helped her into her nightclothes. “Thank you, both of you.”

Soon, all three women were peacefully laying in the main bed together. Byleth lay between her two wives, her face buried in Rhea’s chest as she hummed an ancient lullaby to her, her back fitting snugly against Edelgard’s body as she slept soundly, and her mind at peace, since her decision to do a bit of eavesdropping before entering their bedchamber had paid off _tremendously._

Without a doubt, her duties as mediator, uniting figure, and occasional miracle worker would never end so long as she was married to these two, but honestly, they were both _so _worth it.

**Author's Note:**

> There is actually a solid idea for a prequel to all this, so you find out why Byleth decided to marry Edelgard and Rhea for both political _and_ personal reasons. If you want it, please comment as much.


End file.
